Hello! I’m not really new in these parts but I am starting a new chapter so I thought it a good time to (re)introduce myself and share my journey. I’m also going to share my ‘not so dirty’ little secret on how I feel about the changes I’ve gone through. Teaser… it relates to the K. Pattabhi Jois quote “practice and all is coming”.
Prior to April 2013 I worked full time in an office environment, specifically in IT, as a business analyst and project manager. I like to think I was pretty good at my job, organizing and getting things done is something that comes very easy to me. I also think I’m pretty good at interacting with people and so while many of my co-workers were frustrated with the techies and clients, I was able to bring people together. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t that I didn’t get frustrated, I was just able to deal with it (and this was before I learned one of my yogi super powers of ‘finding space’).
When my contract ended at the end of March 2013 I was forced to figure out what to do next. The easy thing was to stay in St. John’s and look for another contract… but who knows when that would’ve materialized.
My other option was to complete my yoga teacher training at Sonic Yoga in NYC. I figured I could sit home for a month waiting or jump at this awesome opportunity. The timing was right so off I went. The plan was to go away for a month, dive deep into my love of yoga, return and look for IT work… maybe teach yoga on the side.
Fast forward to over three years later and I now know that was the TSN turning point of my life. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that I had also just turned forty and was new in a relationship with a man who would later become my husband. Forty is the new twenty if you ask me!
The last three plus years of finding my feet (still exploring them… that will never change) as a yoga teacher, building a business, combining homes and getting use to my instant family certainly hasn’t been easy, but surprisingly… it hasn’t been all that hard either.
And herein lies my dirty little secret… my life shift has not been a difficult one or a momentous one either. It wasn’t caused by a major life event and it hasn’t been something worthy of a ‘book turned movie’ either. Oh there definitely have been days when I just wanted to bury myself under the covers and not get up and days when I wanted to throw up before teaching I was so nervous. But they were just days, not weeks or months. Life has *just* been a series of decisions and actions that I’ve taken with relative ease. I get up every day, put one foot in front of the other and do whatever’s next. Sometimes I’ll have moments of inspiration but a lot of days it’s ‘do what’s next’.
When I read other people’s stories I sometimes discredit mine because it seems very benign… from the inside looking out anyways. So I think about the quote from K. Pattabhi Jois “practice and all is coming” and realize that it pretty much sums up my last three years. Jois talked about it in the context of showing up on your yoga mat every day. And for people who practice the physical postures of yoga you know that not every day is a break through. Your practice is a series of smaller changes that someday lead you (maybe) to your first headstand or arm balance. Little bits that add up to big pieces over time. So for me, every day I’ve been showing up. Some days with a lot of enthusiasm and some days dragging my heels. Some days are freaking exciting and some days are mundane. And what do I do on the days when I feel like I want to quit? Well, all I can say is thank goodness I have my practice. Yoga has taught me to go deeper than the incessant chatter that takes up space in my head and to tap into a deeper inner voice. So now, when I think I want to quit, I know that it’s just the chatter, not the wiser inner voice, and that quitting is not an option. When I look back on how much my life is changed in 3 short years I realize that big changes are really just comprised of little tweeks made every damn day. I’ve been showing up and doing the work, whatever it looks like.
So if you are going through a change or transition in your life, realize that it doesn’t have to feel hard or you don’t have to have a major life event to change things up. Little steps in the direction of your dreams will get you there. And the hike doesn’t have to be all uphill. Sometimes a nice stroll in a mountain valley offers the best views and journey. Keep going down the path, trust your wise inner guide and soon enough you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come.